Updated: Jun 18, 2022
My room seems smaller than normal, the walls feel like they are closing around me. I’ve never been claustrophobic, but today I understand how it must feel…. I need to get outside.
I must admit, I’m jealous. Aeriel (my sister) and my father are leaving tomorrow for the Appalachian Trail... and I’m stuck at home for another month to finish up my sophomore year of high school. It sucks. They are starting their trek at a place called the Delaware Water Gap (mile 1296.0 going North Bound) and hiking north to Maine from there. The plan, from what I understand, is to hike all the way north to Maine and then to get a ride back down to the Delaware Water Gap where we will hike south to Springer Mountain in Georgia. Aeriel informs me that this is called a “Flip Flop” and is in no way any less of an accomplishment than a normal North Bound Thru-Hike.
Of course, since I won’t be joining them right away, there will be a large portion of the trail that I will miss. I wish I could just get out of here already. I’m excited and nervous about the AT. It’ll be an adventure for sure!
It’s raining tonight, the thunder booms and the lightning produces bright streaks across the sky. I’m looking forward to these types of nights on the trail.
Even the rain won’t be too bad, I think.
I’m hoping to find a peace in the wilderness, especially on nights like these.
* * *
One Month Later:
I am sitting in the car right now, riding along in the beautiful Vermont countryside. The Pine trees tower over the smaller trees and lush underbrush below. I see Birch, Maple, Oak, and many others I don’t know. In just a few days I will be traveling amongst them.
I am reading Nietzsche:
“If you wish to strive for peace of soul and pleasure, then believe; if you wish to be a devotee of truth, then inquire.”
So what? I can’t find peace of soul and pleasure through inquiry? Through logic I can only find truth and not happiness? Or is truth happiness?
I have a love-hate relationship with Nietzsche and the things he wrote. His words are so often empty and longing for something more… human. To this day I am still unsure of what Nietzsche would say is truth or what is the purpose of life, or even if there is truth or purpose in his opinion.
I’m not sure what the purpose of life is either. I don’t know if there is free will. I don’t know if there is a God. I do know, however, that if there are answers to be found out about the nature of the universe or my own mind, the wilderness may be the best place to find them…
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